I heard a voice that said:

What if the very earth beneath your feet–moved?

What if the mountain tumbled down to meet–the sea?

Would you still praise me?

I heard a voice that said:

What if the sky that was so blue–changed?

What if the clouds rolled in and the storm brewed–you couldn’t see

Would you still praise me?

Yeah–

Some people walk by faith

Others can only whisper your name

Let me run loose and free—cuz as for me….

I think I’ll dance; yeah- I think I dance.

I heard a voice that said….

Love me.

L.Lundberg 2/2010

By Laurel Lundberg                                                  

            Joyce opens one sleep encrusted eye, rolls her head sideways and peeks at the clock. The bright red 7:34 seem to glare accusingly back at her, and for a moment the panic rises until she realizes its Saturday. “Aahhh” she stretches her arms up over her head and groans as she turns her still weary body over and pushes herself up slowly blinking the sleep from her eyes.

            Mia, disturbed by the motion on the bed, stands up and shakes her head, then leaps to the floor, and, waving her long black tail as if to imply that the indignity of being so rudely awakened is too much to tolerate, saunters out of the room.  

            Joyce gets up and stumbles to the bathroom, sits down and reaches blindly for the toilet paper but her hand encounters only a nearly empty roll. She pulls the last 4 inches off the cardboard and looks at it distastefully. “Whaaa?!” She exhales noisily, “eeewwee.” The decorated basket next to the toilet is empty; she rolls her eyes around the room in disgust and they land on the hand towel hanging innocently by the sink, as if it could possibly be a stand in.

            The kitchen is cold and the floor under her bare feet is crunchy with a reminder that the sweeping has been neglected. Joyce yawns widely as she fills the coffee pot and pours the water into the coffee maker, eagerly awaiting the rich eye-opening aroma about to waft from it. She opens the cupboard and stretches her hand to where the coffee filters should be, behind the white plastic sugar bin and finds nothing but the empty wrapper. “What the heck?” she asks the cupboard, frowning into it as though it would be held responsible for not alerting her to this fact.

            Looking around the small kitchen with her brow furrowed and lower lip between her teeth, she spies the roll of paper towels. “Hmmm,” she speculates “well, I wonder if it’ll work?” She reaches out and pulls on the paper and, as if the cardboard roll in the bathroom is mocking her, she hears the familiar tear of the last sheet being ripped from it. “Ack” she grumbles, her frown deepening.

            She folds the wrinkled towel as neatly as possible into a cone shape, maneuvers it carefully into the coffee basket, carefully scoops in coffee and presses the start button, leaving the lip open so she can watch the uncertain brewing process. After a few minutes the coffee maker begins to pop and steam, and the heated water to spew into the makeshift filter, dripping through to land successfully in the pot below. “Ah yes!” Joyce feels such triumph at her cleverness, her annoyance fades, and she wiggles her eyebrows in glee.

            Opening the fridge, she surveys the interior in search of breakfast. She takes out the gray egg carton and butter dish and yanks at the top of the bread bag peeking out from behind the Tupperware holding leftovers of last nights chicken Alfredo, sets her food items down on the counter, then turns back to the fridge to grab the creamer for her now merrily perking coffee.

            Her knees creak audibly, and her back groans as she bends to get a small frying pan from the bottom cupboard. She sets the pan on the stove, and lifts the lid on the egg carton. The solitary egg nestled in its cardboard bed looks slightly forlorn, and Joyce grunts as her dismay returns.

            “Ugh-one egg.” She picks up the bread bag and holds it out in front of her face; “and one piece of toast.” She shakes her head in vexation as her stomach growls in protest at the meager offerings. Her mood is not improved when she checks back on her formerly happily brewing coffee to find the improvised filter has slumped over into a soggy pile inside the basket and the coffee in the pot below is a thick mixture of coffee grounds and water. “No, no, no!!” She scolds the coffee pot in irritation. She pours coffee into a cup and begins scooping the grounds out with a spoon and flicking them into the sink. “Sheesh!”

            It occurs to her that maybe she should make a list all the things she has run out of before they disappear back into the black hole that used to be her memory. “Humph” she admonishes herself. “If you had a memory, you silly ninny, you probably wouldn’t be standing here trying to remember all the things you’re out of because you would have remembered to pick them up at the store yesterday! Come to think of it, if you had even half a brain, you wouldn’t be standing in this frigid kitchen in your bare feet and underpants talking to the coffee maker!”

            Her paltry breakfast cooked and consumed; the lumpy coffee choked down, Joyce heads to the laundry room and sorts through the pile of clean clothes until she finds her jeans and favorite shirt; a bright floral button down poly-blend that is comfortable and cheerful, but more importantly, it still fits.  Her underclothes dumped in an undignified heap and clean ones put on, she balances precariously against the dryer thinking she must look like an ancient spindle-legged crane as she drags the pant legs up slowly one at a time. She pulls the slightly wrinkled flowered blouse from the heap. “Oh yeah,” she recalls as she slides her arms into the sleeves; looks down for the buttons and is instead confronted with an unruly red sock that has attached itself to her shirtfront. “I was suppose to get dryer sheets too.” She rolls her head around in abject disbelief as she pulls the sock away with a crackle of static electricity.

            Determined to get on with her day, she heads to the den and the previously procrastinated tax returns that will turn ugly albeit not actually deadly if she dallies much longer on getting them sent off.

            With her blouse clinging to her with an aberrant friendliness, she sits down in front of the computer and turns it on, then reaches for the knob on her desk lamp and twists it. ZZWzzap!

The bulb flares like a camera flash and then goes dark. Joyce stares with wide eyed incredulity at it. “Ugh, of course, and I probably don’t have any more light bulbs either.” Heaving a loud sigh she plods down the hall to the closet that is overflowing with an overabundance of assorted miscellanea; no light bulbs. She returns to the den to search the desk drawers just in case, and although she does discover part of an uneaten Mars bar, no light bulbs there either.

            “This is starting out to be a rather stupid day!” She exclaims loudly, nearly tripping over Mia, who has just wandered into the room; “jiminy and his crooked crickets!” she cries “you ignoramus little beast!” The cat deftly avoids her foot and springs up onto the window sill, looking to position her self for a better view of the day’s entertainment.

            Undeterred nevertheless, Joyce quickly finishes her taxes, and clicks the print button. “Whew, one thing done anyway”, she says as the printer whirs to life, spits out 2 pages and stops suddenly; the red error light begins blinking. “Huh!?” Joyce squints down at the printer and realizes she is out of paper. “Un-be-lieve-able.”

            Mumbling bad words with lips curled up into what is not a smile she trudges back to the bedroom, puts on her shoes and socks; slips on her jacket, picks up the car keys and grumpily slams the front door behind her. She hobbles slowly down the front steps and slides into the driver seat of her car, starts the engine and puts the car in gear.

            As she pulls away from the curb, she glances down and notices the little yellow gas light glowing on the dash. “Perfect!”  Joyce immediately decides she is going back to bed as soon as she gets home.

Oh oh….

chorus

You brought daylight
To my darkest night
You showed me the doorway to freedom
In my lonely dreams
Nothing’s as it seems, til
You brought me to the King of the Kingdom

 There are never enough words to go around
There are never enough ways to say “I love you”
There will never be enough days to count the stars
Our God spread out,
and told us we can reach them.

 We know that we’re worth enough to die for
And changed enough to want to live forever
And if we wait long enough we’ll see the face
Of the crown bearer
Who told us we could wear one.

Chorus-
Bridge:
Our days may see a distance between us
But our hearts are never far away
Ohhhh

chorus

I didn’t know I wasn’t seeing you in color
It’s always been shaded in gray
All of the questions surrounding the doubts
If I dig in my heart will I pray you away?

 How many times did I want to fall at your feet?
Surrendered, to be held in your arms
When will I come to you and offer defeat
Will you comfort me in my storm?

 Take me, break me, and rebuild me like new
Take me, breath in me so I’m covered by you
Soften my edges, sharpen my view
So the jagged pieces of me create a picture of you

 How does a soul get so wounded?
Broken pieces tied up and stained
Didn’t you see me when I was alone?
Please pick me up, loosen my chains.

 Chorus
Bridge
Oh my God, I am your child
Good or bad, hungry or wild
I’ve never known a love to go this extra mile
Can I stay…a while….

 Chorus

In the middle of the red sea
In the center of your miracles
I stand still; I know you will meet me on the other side.

In the wake of all my fears
When my heart has finally swallowed
That you are real; I can feel you right here by my side
chorus:
And when I cry tears of joy
Overwhelmed by all you are
When nothing in me carries sorrow
Oh my soul gives you praise

Winter winds can swiftly change
Summer seems at such a distance
I know you’ll bring; a sheltering cover from the outside

repeat chorus

In the driest of the desert sands
Between Egypt and your promises
I’ve looked back; all I’ve lacked is the faith that you were on my side

Chorus 2X

music & lyrics by Laurel Bailey Lundberg
copyright July 2006

Rend your heart, and I
will tear apart the sky

Wide open, wide

Rend your heart, and I
will tear apart the sky

Wide open, wide

I will send down righteous rain
to wash your sins away
Oh Holy one surround us
Like clouds cover peaks of a mountain
Oh righteous one command us
Like the sun radiates over the sea
Oh my Lord I return to you with all my heart
Even now, with all my heart

LBailey-Lundberg 8/2004

 Oh when the days were all stories and rhymes
And up on the tallest of shoulders you’d ride
For your reward heard a goodbye song
Close the door and it’s gone.
Oh-The first mask goes on.

The lie stretched between all the shattered and dreams
Always searching for something too good to believe
You slipped out the backdoor, and nobody knew
You didn’t know what to do
Oh, so the mask became true.

I said
Little girl, little girl shed your disguise
Tear off the lies that are blinding your eyes
See all the stars, how they shimmer and shine
Love, that’s your design, oh love that’s your design

What do you do, you’re facing of a wall?
No hope before, look behind and you’ll fall
A cry to the heavens, can you help me stand?
I reached down with my hand
Your mask became sand

Little girl, little girl shed your disguise
Tear off the lies that are blinding your eyes
See all the stars, how they shimmer and shine
Love, that’s your design, oh love that’s your design

 LLundberg 10/08

I did not hide myself
Where could I go that you would not see?
I did not close my heart
Instead, I let it bleed, I let it bleed.

It is no simple thing
to follow after you this way
I ‘m always torn in two

By the words I say, words I say

Chorus:

You keep showing me your face, and go on calling out my name
There is no deeper peace, covered by your grace
I’m healed– My beautiful Emanuel

I gave my desperate heart
Once so far beyond repair
I laid it in your hands
You held each tear, held each tear

I don’t know what to say
To tell you how I feel
I found your boundless love
It was right here, right here

Bridge~
Footsteps side by side
Or sometimes lifted high
God with us, you are God with us

(Repeat)

Copyright; Laurel Lundberg 7/31/08

How can I be so nonchalant about you
In my rush to claim my innocence
I watched the tears and blood rain down your face
Evidence of grace
will you save a drop of red for me?

Let’s pretend for just a moment
That I’m the only one you see
let’s pretend for just a moment
I’m the only one in need
Would you still die for me?
How can I be so nonchalant about you
In my rush to claim my innocence
I watched the tears and blood rain down your face
Evidence of grace
will you save a drop of red for me?

 When I am shaken by any brazen wind
it blows me from my knees
Gold and gilded idols
become the breath in me
Are you still nailed to Calvary 

Let’s pretend for just a moment
that I’m the only one you see…..

LBailey 8/06

L.Bailey 12/05

I sat in anticipation of the skies to fall
I hid my starvation behind a huge wall
of stoic resolve.
I wandered aimlessly tripping over defeat
and pondered secretly my needy conceit
to be found complete
never dared ask or believe
chorus-
Do I make you laugh
Do I make you sigh
Do I make you shake your head
and wonder why?
Do I make you cry tears of joy?
Do I? Do I?

I’ve read all your words cover to cover
I’ve heard all the stories of love one another
I need the grace you offer
Fear holds me down but love sets me free
which one do I crown and give victory?
What’ll my new name be?
Daughter to a king
 chorus-
I will bow down, I will humbly kneel
All I ask is you show me your real
Oh be real

And tell me do I make you feel?
Chorus 2 X